An Unlikely Pairing
by paws-bells
Summary: SessKag AU. In which the disgruntled villain is being rescued by the lively, spirited heroine. Unfortunately for her, he is no Prince Charming. Unfortunately for him, she is a mouthy wench who just would not shut up.


**Title:** An Unlikely Pairing

**Author: **paws-bells

**Beta-ed by:** MelissaRose85

**Characters/Pairing: **Higurashi Kagome and Sesshoumaru

**Type:** One-shot (Complete)

**Genre:** General/Humor

**Word Count:** 2993

**Theme:** LJ Community, ebony_silks Week 83: One-Shot theme – Image Challenge

**Rating: **T (Contains content not suitable for children)

**Disclaimer:** Inuyasha belongs to Takahashi Rumiko-san.

**AU/Canon: **AU

**Summary: **Crack fic. In which the disgruntled villain is being rescued by the lively, spirited heroine. Unfortunately for her, he is no Prince Charming. Unfortunately for him, she is a mouthy wench who just would not shut up. First place entry for ebony_silks Week 83 one-shot theme image challenge.

**Created on:** 27/03/09

**Completed on:** 28/03/09

**Chapter Last Revised on:** 27/06/09

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Sesshoumaru was _not_ having a good day.

His stupid half brother was to be blamed for this entire episode, _as usual_, and he was looking for the idiot right now just so that he could strangle him for landing him in this mess. This was going to be the very last time he would deign to do Inuyasha any favor; he should have known that the runt would take advantage of his (very) random act of goodwill to coerce him into something as ridiculous as this.

As the silver-haired Inu Youkai stalked through the throngs of (occasionally very bizarre looking) people who milling around the convention center, his very own personal thundercloud hovering ominously over his head and an icy, forbidding expression gracing his proud, aristocratic features, Sesshoumaru mentally promised himself that his younger brother was going to pay, painfully, for this.

He blatantly ignored all the awestruck (and some downright lustful) stares that were being directed at him and his very uncomfortable…attire, choosing instead to mentally retreat to his happy place like Izayoi had always taught him, where he was cheerfully tearing his half brother from limb to limb while the idiot cried like a little girl. A small, cruel smile flitted across his lips as he pictured the delightful image in his mind, and somewhere amongst the crowd, a child whimpered.

Sesshoumaru did not care; dismemberment would be the least Inuyasha deserved. Today would have been an almost passable Saturday if not for the fact that he was smack dab in the middle of an _anime convention_, surrounded by all sorts of strange people in all shapes and sizes. It had been slightly amusing to see the herds of anime otaku crawling out from under the woodwork just for this occasion when Inuyasha had tricked him here at the beginning, but by now, Sesshoumaru would count himself lucky if he never saw another cosplayer again.

For the rest of his unnatural life.

If he had to witness another Sailor Moon doing 'the pose' again, he would very gladly scratch his eyes out _with a toothpick_.

And of course, it just figured that his dumbass brother would slip off at the very first opportunity _with the car keys_ and leave him to the mercy of his fellow convention goers.

Unfortunately for him, he had just realized roughly an hour ago that not all of those abovementioned parties were sane, and when those of questionable mental health with the same interests were gathered in a large group, things did not bode well for his own health whatsoever.

Especially not when he was clad in this ridiculous form fitting attire that made him look like some giant bat with a leather fetish, but for some strange reason or another, seemed to attract frothing, starry-eyed, squealing fangirls in veritable droves. The fact that he had been his usual frigid, unapproachable self had only made the crazy herd of women swoon and scream right into his sensitive ears, and needless to say, he had been most bewildered—not to mention very irritated.

He wasn't allowed to express his annoyance though. The moment one of them became bold enough to touch him, it seemed to prompt a free-for-all from the rest, and before he knew it, he was swimming in excited, gibbering fangirls. Dazed and stunned by how his deliberately unfriendly and aloof mannerisms had failed him for the very first time in _years_, the Inu Daiyoukai quickly opted for a tactical retreat.

The proud firstborn of the great Inu no Taishou turned tail, all but dove into the crowd of people around him, and fled quickly. It was a completely embarrassing state of circumstances that he had found himself in, one which he was putting the blame for squarely on the shoulders of Inuyasha. And now, he was being hunted, literally…_like a d_og, not that he was in the mood to make dog puns at the moment. He was really going to make sure that Inuyasha paid for every ounce of humiliation that he was going through today.

"OH MY GOD!!! HE'S OVER HERE!!! SEPHIROTH-SAMA!!!!"

"SEPHIROTH-SAMA!!!!!!!"

Make that ten times over.

The Horde had discovered his hiding place.

For once in his life, Sesshoumaru cursed his height and striking hair color, as well as the moron who decreed that murder was illegal, not even when it was rightly deserved and that the group of high pitched idiots whom he was just itching to decapitate were irritating the cookie out of him.

The Inu Youkai quickly found himself cornered and backed against the wall that he had been attempting with not much luck to blend into earlier, and tensing warily, he quickly fell back onto his instincts. His hand found its way around the hilt of the nifty six foot long Masamune blade that had come along with the bat costume, the kenjutsu skills that he had been taught since young prompting him to slide into a ready position with the sword, putting him in the perfect form to deal with any potential threats that might come along for him.

None too pleased by the situation, Sesshoumaru even added his Death Glare of Doom™ for good measure, just to show that he was being perfectly serious about the matter of invading his personal bubble.

The resulting screams that his actions prompted were nearly enough to blow his eardrums off.

"OH EM GEEEEEE!!! HE'S POSING!!!"

"SEPHY-SAMA, HAVE MY BABIES!!!!!!"

The Daiyoukai was not aware that such a thing was actually possible, but as he was busy reeling inwardly in reaction to the shrill screams, he was suddenly facing down dozens of cameras and camera phones that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere, and before he could prepare himself for the upcoming assault, they flashed simultaneously, again and again, imprinting powerful halos and ultra bright spots right into his sensitive retinas.

Just like that, the poor dog demon was effectively blinded and stunned. Completely incapacitated. Rendered helpless. Utterly under the mercy of the fans.

Thankfully enough, nothing much happened in between the brief catatonic state and the quick recovery period that followed, except for more flashing cameras accompanied by many happy squeals. Needless to say, by the time the harried looking Sesshoumaru snapped out of it, he was one Very Unhappy Inu Youkai.

Then, it went from bad to worse.

Some girl in a glaring eyesore of an outfit and what looked like a rat's nest for hair (complete with large pink bow) roughly elbowed her way to the front of the pack, and without much ado, immediately attached herself to the highly annoyed Dog Prince like a malignant…_pink_ growth, without much thought to the hateful hisses of the masses. The short and stout female was surprisingly strong, and refused to let go even when Sesshoumaru leveled a powerful glare at her.

"Who are you, woman? Release me this instany!" he ordered in a stiff, arctic tone, and unbeknownst to him, the crowd immediately fell into an absorbed, enthralled silence.

Fanservice.

The only technique in all the combined fandoms that was powerful enough to keep the slavering packs of fangirls at bay, and Sesshoumaru didn't even know he was a participant of it, willingly or not.

Luckily for him, the character that he was reluctantly portraying at the moment was just about as emotionally constipated as he was.

The determined woman raised her head to look at her One True Love then, revealing the glint of thick glasses that were perched on her round, quivering nose as well as watery, lovesick cow eyes that nearly made the silver-haired dog demon draw back in horror. This was rapidly becoming a goddamn nightmare.

"Sephiroth, my love! It's me, Aerith!" the girl cried out beseechingly. "I have returned to your side, where I will remain forever as a prisoner of your love!!"

Sesshoumaru certainly hoped not.

He was completely appalled by the shameless declaration; who was this crazy woman? What manner of joke was this? Who the hell was this Aerith? Sesshoumaru tried to shake the persistent woman off his arm but to no avail. She was clinging onto him like a leech!

"I know not of any Aerith," the silver-haired male intoned coldly. "Let go or you shall face the business end of my sword."

The crowd gasped at his violent warning, and distracted, the Inu Youkai was taken aback to see the anticipation glimmering in the excited eyes of the Horde that surrounded him. He didn't remember humans being this bloodthirsty before, and what on earth were those misty-eyed looks for?

'Aerith' trembled with unchecked emotions. "I know you are hiding your feelings; there is no need to!! You have no need to be jealous of Cloud, my love!" she burst out dramatically. "My heart belongs to no one but you! You must be hurting inside as well, aren't you, my little Sephy-kun? Don't be; I will follow you to the ends of the earth if need be!! To prove the strength of my true love to you, I shall present my first kiss, one that not even Cloud has managed to steal!!"

This time around, Sesshoumaru didn't even bother to keep the horror struck expression off his stoic face. He really did pull back this time though, as the woman closed her eyes, tiptoed, and puckered up for her kiss.

Sesshoumaru had had about enough of this ridiculous situation. A low, powerful growl escaped his chest, and he was beginning to release enough youki that the air around him was starting to blur and distort. He was actually considering the number of ways he could literally claw his way out to freedom when a slender form slipped forward from amongst the mesmerized crowds and swiftly inserted herself between the pink monstrosity and himself.

"Control yourself, Demon," he heard the petite, raven-haired female mutter from under her breath, even as she proceeded to nudge the slightly rotund cosplayer away from him. Coughing slightly and rolling her bright blue eyes, the girl took a deep breath, struck a tacky pose, and loudly proclaimed in an outrageously theatrical manner. "Aerith!! You know not what you are speaking!! Do not be fooled by him! He is not what he seems!"

"Oh, look! It's Tifa!!" Sesshoumaru heard the excited people murmur around him, and the rapid, blinding flashes occurred again as cameras clicked in frantic succession.

Kagome had some trouble blinking the spots out of her eyes, and had no doubt that the Inu Youkai behind her was having even more trouble than she, powerful eyesight and all. It was no surprise that he was so pissed off, though she wondered what one such as him was doing in a place like this.

'Aerith' shot her a peeved look then, most likely displeased by how she had ruined her romantic moment with one furious demon lord. Kagome decided not to tell the other girl that she was just literally inches from a very painful decapitation via enraged youkai, and quickly continued. "Go!! I will hold him off!! Run!! Run to Cloud and the rest!! They will protect you!"

The other cosplayer hesitated, not sure whether to stick to the 'script' or still boldly insist upon clinging to the forbidding-looking bishounen who was glowering rather dangerously from behind the pretty female, and he didn't look like he was acting. At last, she caved.

"Uh…O- Okay…"

With that, the ridiculous fanservice quickly dwindled to an abrupt, anticlimactic end, and more photographs were taken as the characters posed randomly, or rather, what they presumed was posing as 'Tifa' kept herself firmly between 'Sephiroth' and the rest of the innocent public while the latter _glared_ meanly at everyone who looked at him.

At long last, the crowd finally dispersed, reluctantly, when Kagome insisted that both she and 'Sephiroth' needed to rest and to please give them some consideration. When she was certain that they were all gone, she turned to look at the obviously bad-tempered demon.

"Something tells me that you aren't here voluntarily, _Sephiroth_."

Sesshoumaru was inwardly stunned that she had managed to so easily disperse the insane cult of women who had been right on his tail for nearly the entire time he was trapped in this convention, though he was quick to pick up the tone of mild amusement in her voice. He frowned slightly at the notion of this mere chit taking perverse joy in his suffering.

"You have proven yourself adequate in driving away those…forces of evil," he announced commandingly. "You will escort me for the reminder of this godforsaken convention, until I meet up with my idiot half sibling."

Eyes of the purest shade of sapphire glimmered as she stared at the haughty Dog Demon.

"You know," she drawled in a deceptively calm manner as she sat on the floor and put her back against the wall, completely ignoring the silver-haired demon. "I think playing heroine to your demon in distress has tuckered me out. I think I will just sit here and recover from my overwrought nerves."

If she looked overwrought, then he must be the very epitome of happiness and joy—which he was not, by the way.

Sesshoumaru stiffened, concentrating his Look of Annoyance™ on the irritating female but to no avail. Unfortunately, his venomous stare seemed to wash off her completely, and to add insult to injury, she dug around her backpack nonchalantly, took out a box of Pocky, and for all intents and purposes, started to break open the packaging to get at the biscuits within it.

The silver-haired Daiyoukai growled.

"Woman."

Kagome peeked up briefly at him.

"Sit down," she advised. "You aren't exactly blending in amongst the crowd here. Unless you would like another replay of what happened earlier…?"

He didn't need to be told twice. Having learned a valuable, albeit completely mortifying, lesson, Sesshoumaru was quick to duck down beside his unwitting savior. It was a rather graceful maneuver that he had flowed naturally into, in his rather unbiased opinion, but a duck was still a duck, and Kagome was rather amused by how deathly afraid of the fangirls this particular demon was.

She stuck her newly opened packet of Pocky right under his nose. "Want one?"

The last thing Sesshoumaru wanted to do was eat Pocky, of all things. What next? That they exchange life stories and become best friends? The youkai glowered and shook his head stiffly, fixing his icy attention at a distant point she couldn't quite see. It was obvious that he was rather unhappy about his situation, but the raven-haired beauty merely shrugged inwardly and busied herself with nibbling at her delicious strawberry flavored treat. Before long though, the oppressive atmosphere was getting to even her, and she glanced at the snooty, uptight demon.

"You shouldn't dress yourself up like a popular anime character if all you want to do is be left alone," she remarked, not that her current companion appeared to be responding to her. Undaunted, she cheerfully continued, studying his costume with a careful eye.

"Your resemblance is almost uncanny; is that long hair real? It's the wrong shade of grey, though," she continued to comment casually, though this time around, she did get a response.

Offended citrine eyes turned to her almost immediately.

"My hair is _not_ grey," he informed her icily, and Kagome stared at him in surprise. A small noise escaped her before she could stop it, and the raven-haired female quickly turned her head away from the touchy demon, her shoulders moving suspiciously as she tried to keep her sniggers under wraps.

Sesshoumaru could hardly believe his ears. Such blatant disrespect!!! He was the son of the great Inu no Taishou! He was the dignified, worthy heir to his father's Multinational Corporation, and he was the genius of his faculty!!! How dare this silly little woman laugh at him?

"Are you quite done?" he asked frigidly when she was still having a merry time—at his expense. Inuyasha really was going to die for this. Painfully.

Kagome gave a cough to the side and giggled.

"Sorry about that," she tried to keep a straight face. "That was really rude of me. What youkai are you, by the way? A bird youkai, I would guess. Peacock?"

It was obvious that she was making fun of him, and really, if she was not his only ticket to freedom, he would have walked away.

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes.

"I'm an Inu Daiyoukai," he told her coolly, bringing forth his hand before her direct line of sight and flexing his sharp claws ominously. "I'm a dangerous breed of predator youkai that you should not mess with, woman."

It was as if he was introducing himself as some sort of dangerous zoo critter that should not be taken likely, and Kagome tried her best not to grin. She succeeded only to a certain extent.

"I have no doubt that you can be dangerous, Sephiroth-san," she agreed almost solemnly, though the laughter dancing in her eyes made him doubt that she was actually serious.

"…Sesshoumaru," he corrected her stoically at last. "I am Sesshoumaru; do not call me by that other accursed name, lest you summon those minions of hell back to us."

Kagome glanced weirdly at her companion. He didn't seem to notice her amused regard, so busy was he being all high and mighty, not to mention suspiciously eyeballing anyone who was squinting at him the wrong way. This really was one uptight fella that she had rescued.

"You can stop role playing now, you know that, right?"

He transferred that citrine glare of his to her almost instantaneously, and okay, perhaps she did deserve to be the lucky recipient of that peeved stare.

Kagome really did smile this time. This Saturday afternoon might just be passable, after all.

"Relax, I was only teasing you. Well, Sesshoumaru, my name is Higurashi Kagome, and I guess we are going to be best buddies for today, huh?"

_

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_

::owari::

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**Questions That I Would Like To Answer Before You Ask:**

Crack fic alert, but I'm being anticlimactic announcing this at the end of the entry, since you all probably know that already. So don't take this too seriously. This is AU verse, the characters are OOC; how on earth did Inuyasha get Sesshoumaru into the bat costume in the first place?!

Really, I have no idea myself; you may assume that Sesshoumaru has either lost a bet, or perhaps Inuyasha is just a lot smarter than he's letting on.

**xXxXxXxXxX**

For those who wonder where this piece of random fic had come from, well, this image challenge requires all contest participants to write a one-shot fic based on a piece of fanart chosen by the ebony_silks community on LJ. In this case, it was Youkai Yume's '+SessKag+ Everyday Love 4.' For the curious, I have the DA link of the fanart up on my profile page, under "Extras." Do check it out; Youkai Yume's SessKag creations are simply made of awesome.

**xXxXxXxXxX**

As someone who had been to a few of anime conventions before, I understand that the fangirls/fanboys aren't (usually) that crazed over cosplayers, no matter how authentic or pretty or good looking they are. In fact, I think that most of the convention goers are rather polite and well behaved, but for the sake of increasing the humorous aspect of this fic, I have exaggerated things a bit. No offence, I hope!

**xXxXxXxXxX**

I'm not really familiar with Final Fantasy-verse, to be honest, so do forgive me if I have made a muck out of the Tifa/Aerith/Sephiroth dynamics of good versus evil. I do know that Aerith was killed by Sephiroth, though, and the reason I created OC!Aerith to fanservice with disgruntled!Sephy!Sesshoumaru was partly due to my amusement at discovering quite a handful of Aerith/Sephiroth fanfics on FF Net whilst doing a bit of research for this entry.

Be thankful, be very thankful that I hadn't created OC!Cloud instead.

**xXxXxXxXxX**

Your reviews fuel my passion for writing. So please leave a comment if you like this fic!

--paws


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